Comments on: Poem I just wrote, what do you all think? What do interpret from it? Criticism welcome.?

By: shrill alarmist, I'm sure

shrill alarmist, I'm sure — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:14:59 +0000

Not bad. It is a beat send-up which has its merits – but there are more beats than Jack and Alan and you do yourself a disservice by not reading anthologies of that time. Libraries and used book stores are your best friend. Read deeply! Check out Ira Cohen or Ed Saunders or Ted Berrigan online. Check out Charles Henri Ford. This surreal-neo-beat scene still thrives. The second generation New York School poets spawned a handmade ‘zine underground and I suggest you find your way into it. Online is only the tip of the iceberg. Poetry is best when you can fold it and stuff it into your pocket to read later on. Lastly, try and avoid trite and cute turns of phrase. They are below your ability. And drop every instance of "whilst" Elizabeth. This is the ’90’s!
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By: merillo5

merillo5 — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:59:59 +0000

Thank you for not being afraid to praise God. Sounds like you have attended life's school of hard knocks and graduated with flying colors. You are very talented, to much to let it go to waste.I would recommend you write more and publish a book. Go to Lulu.com.
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By: M'botu Kita -J.

M'botu Kita -J. — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:26:59 +0000

I enjoyed your poem.

"Tired of missing life"… So am I.

So, am I?
(a lot of things, probably)
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By: Trystan

Trystan — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:47:59 +0000

I like it. I can definitely see Ginsberg's influence here.
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By: De

De — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:18:59 +0000

Bravo! "The sun was like a huge 50-cent piece that someone had poured kerosene on and then had lit with a match, and said, "Here, hold this while I go get a newspaper," and put the coin in my hand, but never came back.""
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By: [x].bri.[x]

[x].bri.[x] — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:11:59 +0000

I think it is against God..sorry if you are a Christian but that is just how I myself feel.
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By: Yam Y

Yam Y — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:37:59 +0000

ugh heart warming?
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